If you are like most people in North America that make 5 digit salaries, you probably have at least one piece of Ikea merchandise in your home. I mean really – who can resist the temptation of 10,000 tea candles for $5.  Sure you have to travel 35 miles through every single department with no obvious way out – but at least they have a restaurant and washrooms at the half way point.

The big Ikea news however is that on December 7th, Ikea will be opening their biggest store in Canada in Ottawa, Ontario. I’m sure there will be at least a dozen missing person’s reports filed shortly thereafter. If you don’t hear from me by Christmas – send a search and rescue party.

In looking for information on the new store however I came across this gem and nearly coughed up my milk through my nose when I started reading it.

Store return policy

If you’ve changed your mind and are not entirely satisfied with your purchase, simply return the unused item within 45 days for an exchange or refund. A receipt and the item’s original packaging are required for all returns and exchanges.

Now I don’t know about you but pretty much everything Ikea makes seems designed to not be returnable in its original packaging (other than the aforementioned tea candles). I mean – come on – when was the last time you managed to get that bookshelve out of the cardboard container without the room looking like it was hit by a 5 year old on christmas morning?

And after all the nailing and screwing and gluing – by the time you figure out something is wrong – it ain’t going back in the package even if you were careful enough to gingerly peel back the ends of the box and slide the contents out with all the bits of styrofoam meticulously accounted for. I mean really – when was the last time Ikea put instructions for getting the damn thing BACK in the box in case you need to return it.

I know – I know – getting the unit back in the box doesn’t involve an alan key and therefore the Ikea instructional creators wouldn’t know how to put all the little diagrams together anyways. Heck – it took an investment in 45 production facilities in 12 different countries to get it into that little tiny box in the first place. That is beside the point!

You would think that a $31B company as advanced as Ikea would see reason in something as silly as a return policy that can never actually be fulfilled by the people purchasing products there. It’s like we use to say in the 1990s when people bought GE products. You might as well buy two because the product is so cheap as to have no merit being repackaged and returned if it breaks.

Having said that – I have some Akurum Wall cab horizontal w glass door, birch, Ädel beech, cabinets to buy for my office. (only 22 more days – only 22 more days – only 22 more days ……..)

– Kevin Feenan

The aforementioned post is in no way an endorsement of Ikea or its products despite the authors predisposition for Ikea book shelves which are far too numerous to count. And before you ask – no I won’t help you figure out the damn instructions. Its a right of passage – deal with it. :P